The Lady and the Ape

A Lady fair, of lineage high,
Was loved by an Ape, in the days gone by.
The Maid was radiant as the sun,
The Ape was a most unsightly one,
The Ape was a most unsightly one
So it would not do
His scheme fell through,
For the Maid, when his love took formal shape,
Express'd such terror
At his monstrous error,
That he stammer'd an apology and made his 'scape,
The picture of a disconcerted Ape.

With a view to rise in the social scale,
He shaved his bristles and he docked his tail,
He grew mustachios, and he took his tub,
And he paid a guinea to a toilet club,
He paid a guinea to a toilet club
But it would not do,
The scheme fell through
For the Maid was Beauty's fairest Queen,
With golden tresses,
Like a real princess's,
While the Ape, despite his razor keen,
Was the apiest Ape that ever was seen!

He bought white ties, and he bought dress suits,
He crammed his feet into bright tight boots
And to start in life on a brand new plan,
He christen'd himself Darwinian Man!
He christen'd himself Darwinian Man!
But it would not do,
The scheme fell through
For the Maiden fair, whom the monkey crav'd,
Was a radiant Being,
With a brain farseeing
While Darwinian Man, though well-behav'd,
At best is only a monkey shav'd!

For the Maiden fair, whom the monkey crav'd,
Was a radiant Being,
With a brain farseeing
While Darwinian Man, though well-behav'd,
At best is only a monkey shav'd!

W.S. Gilbert, "The Lady and the Ape" from "Princess Ida"

More of Grandma Tess' Riddles

Little Miss Etticoat,
In her white petticoat,
Has a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.

What is she?






A CANDLE!

Grandma Tess' Riddles

Steeplechase Ticket

Thirty white horses
Upon a red hill;
Here they clamp
There they stamp
Now they stand still.

What are they?






TEETH!

Yet More Rhymes from Grandma Tess

 

Ye Olde Swimmin' Hole

Mother, may I go out to swim?
Yes, my darling daughter,
Hang your clothes on a hickory limb,
But don't go near the water !

The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes

The Weary Blues
Droning a drowsy syncopated tune, Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon, I heard a Negro play. Down on Lenox Avenue the other night By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light He did a lazy sway . . . He did a lazy sway . . . To the tune o' those Weary Blues. With his ebony hands on each ivory key He made that poor piano moan with melody. O Blues! Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool He played that sad raggy tune like a musical fool. Sweet Blues! Coming from a black man's soul. O Blues! In a deep song voice with a melancholy tone I heard that Negro sing, that old piano moan-- "Ain't got nobody in all this world, Ain't got nobody but ma self. I's gwine to quit ma frownin' And put ma troubles on the shelf." Thump, thump, thump, went his foot on the floor. He played a few chords then he sang some more-- "I got the Weary Blues And I can't be satisfied. Got the Weary Blues And can't be satisfied-- I ain't happy no mo' And I wish that I had died." And far into the night he crooned that tune. The stars went out and so did the moon. The singer stopped playing and went to bed While the Weary Blues echoed through his head. He slept like a rock or a man that's dead.     by Langston Hughes

Mali Nai Coulibaly "The Cheater"

Edu let the third goal fly but the Malian referee, Coulibaly said,"Nai! Nai!"

The mystery of the phantom and unexplained, inexplicable foul.

Potatoes--Originated in Peru--Spread from Chile

Potatoes


Irish boxty potatoes


German rosti potatoes

Pommes frites--"French fries"--originated in Belgium served with mayonnaise

Latkes--potato pancakes

Aloo palak, Indian potoes with spinach

What did Eurasia do before potatoes were brought from the new world?

Europe Had No Vanilla Before Columbus & Cortez

Can you imagine European cuisine and desserts without vanilla or chocolate or tomatoes?

Europe Had No Chocolates Pre-Columbus!

What did Italians Eat Before Columbus?

Pasta with tomato-based sauces? Sun-dried tomatoes? Panzanella?